Helen Rowland
A bride at her second wedding does not wear a veil. She wants to see what she is getting.
Groucho Marx
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
Mickey Rooney
Get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted a whole day.
Rita Rudner
I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
Tracy Smith
I wanted to make it really special on Valentine's Day, so I tied my boyfriend up. And for three solid hours I watched whatever I wanted on TV.
Francis Bacon
It is impossible to love and be wise.
Ally McBeal
It’s funny how we set qualifications to the right person to love, when we know at the back of our heads the person whom we truly love will always be an exception.
Mirabeau
Love has the power of making you believe what you would normally treat with the deepest suspicion.
Plato
Love is a grave mental disease.
Hoosier Farmer
Love is the thing that enables a woman to sing while she mops up the floor after her husband has walked across it in his barn boots.
Rita Rudner
My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
Phyllis Diller
Never go to bed mad -- stay up and fight.
Joyce Brothers
No matter how love sick a woman is, she shouldn't take the first pill that comes along.
Oscar Wilde
One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry.
Margaret Atwood
The Eskimos have fifty two words for snow because it is so special to them; there ought to be as many for love.
Ann Landers
The poor wish to be rich, the rich wish to be happy, the single wish to be married, and the married wish to be dead.
Yiddish Proverb
Three things can't be hidden: coughing, poverty, and love.
H. L. Mencken
To be in love is merely to be in a state of perceptual anesthesia.
Jay Leno
Today is Valentine's Day. Or, as men like to call it, Extortion day.
Erich Segal
True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.
Anonymous
Valentine’s Day is when a lot of married men are reminded what a poor shot Cupid really is.
Rosanne Barr
Women are cursed, and men are the proof.
Mae West
Women with pasts interest men. They hope history will repeat itself.
Source: http://quotations.about.com/od/Valentines-Day/a/Funny-Valentines-Day-Quotes.htm
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